Question: How interesting is my essay, on a scale of 1-10? (:?


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Answer #1:

I thought it was quite good. Well done.

Here are a couple of brief criticisms:

1) Your reference to the follow up books: "Even though the ending leans a little more toward death, Jonas and Gabe actually didn't die. They are mentioned in the second and third books." - why go there? Perhaps make it more vague - don't spoil the following books for your reader. And going there takes away from the analysis of the book you are doing.

2) "gift/curse " - use some words to get your meaning across here. Also, this whole sentence was a bit confusing to me.

3) Perhaps drop this line - it seems to be a repeat - else find a substitute for "universal" - "There is no universal conclusion"

Answer #2:

Not bad--pretty good, actually (depending on what grade you're in.) I don't really have any suggestions, other than:
It's simple to just say that Jonas and Gabe died at the end and got to "Elsewhere".>>Periods go INSIDE the quotations marks. Same with commas. It's also not good to say "it's" in essays--use "it is."

"Do you actually take it Elsewhere, Father?", Jonas asked" (129). Jonas's Father says no. >> Should be "'Do you actually take it Elsewhere, Father?' Jonas asked" (129).

"He was More and more certain that the destination lay ahead of him...Elsewhere was not far away." (164).>> should read, punctuation-wise: "...Elsewhere was not far away" (164). (No period after 'away')

You also shouldn't keep saying "Lois Lowry." Once you introduce her once, just use her last name after that.





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